Dumb Move Mr. Prime Minister

Today, PM Erdoğan started his fight to irradicate Twitter. Last year, Twitter fueled the Gezi Park Riots and was the only way people knew what was really going on. The Turkish Government has full control over the Media and the protest were completely blocked out. Now, Twitter has been ban from Turkey. It is another step back for such an amazing Country.

I usually keep politics to myself. But the current administration is slowly whittling away the progress it has made. Besides driving, lack of common courtesy and the odd horrible person, Turks are very kind, loving people. They love their country and are very proud. So when you see thousand of people protesting, you know something isn't right. The militant action against a peaceful park sit in was shocking. And just last week, a poor kid that was intentional shot in the head BY Polis with a tear gas canister died. He lived in a coma for over 250 days. And a government official called the massive amount of people that attended his funeral necrophiliacs??? Really? I am pretty sure in the US, that guy would have been thrown out or shot.

It will be interesting to see how elections turn out at the end of the month. If the current administration gets re-elected, I am happy we are leaving. How can you choose people that have attacked you for having an opinion, take away some freedom of speech and is completely corrupt. After all the leaked phone calls, nothing has been done. Even when something was done, the PM fired or reassigned those involves. The US wanted to impeach Clinton for lying about getting a BJ in the Oval Office! How can you re-elect him??? I would be yelling to get him out NOW!

Ok that is enough. I will probably get deported now. :) I just hope the next few weeks don't lead to chaos.

 

 

 

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My 10 year Anniversary

Yes, it was back in September. I know. But life happens and we never got around to the whole gift and second honeymoon.  So I kind of got sick of waiting.

 I had gone and bought Joel a new wedding band.  His original wedding band had gotten tossed in the garbage during a kitchen clean up while we were on vacation.  Just 18 months after we got married.  So I bought him some cheap clearance ring.  It didn't fit right but it was a nice looking ring. I had always planned on replacing it.  Hopefully with something similar.  The original was a black titanium ring with a silver strip thru the middle.  But I could never find anything I loved.

While I was getting the diamond earrings I got from Joel's grandma Flora reset, we looked at rings.  I found a white gold one I really liked.  It was the first to catch my eye.  So I was ready in July.  I will give Joel a break since he works so far away and our weekends are always busy.  He didn't get out until the week after my birthday to get my gift.  He rocked it so I didn't complain. :)  OK maybe a little.  Anyways, I don't remember why but I was having a I HATE Turkey day and the kids were driving me nuts.... I was just in a foul mood.  So, Joel said get a sitter for Saturday and we will go spend the day wandering Eminonu and the Grand Bazaar.  I have been MANY times but never just Joel and I.  We were always being tour guides or dragging the kids around.  So we got up early and headed down with my trusty shopper, Ilknur.  Joel wanted a new leather coat and we wanted to order some custom tiles.  But my big goal, get Joel to look at rings!

 It has always been in the cards to upgrade my engagement ring.  We agreed that the money he had saved for my ring would go to buying our dream home.  Unfortunately, that came burning down.  Literally.  And the week after our house fire, he went and bought me a ring with our small savings.  It was very touching and I love my ring.  But it wasn't us.  So being that it has been 10 years and we are living in this amazing city, it was time.  And I know that every time I look at the ring, I will remember the wonderful years we had in this magical city.

Murat and Ilknur have a good friend that is a jeweler in the Grand Bazaar.  He is the one that reset the ugly diamond earrings into GORGEOUS earrings I love wearing. I had seen a ring there that I LOVED while there.  Unfortunately, it had sold but he was going to find a picture.  I was sure that was the ring.  Once I got Joel in there we looked at so many rings.  Nothing was right.  We found a setting that kind of clicked.  But wasn't right.  All the rings had the stones set high up with prongs.  Something my current ring had but I really disliked.  It was always catching on something or scratching a kid.  I need something inset.  So with Joel's little Turkish, some hand signals, and a drawing, we finally agreed.  We would pick it up on Valentine's Day.  I was so excited to see it and my college roomie and husband would be here visiting.

Finally the day arrived.  We set up a babysitter to watch all 6 kids.  My Helper, Thess totally rocks. She has really been a great help the last 18 months.  So off to the Grand Bazaar with the four of us and Murat and Ilknur.  I was so excited to see what he had made me.  He told me that he had many people try to buy it off him.  And he promised to never make another one like it.  He slowly took it out of the box and handed it to me......  It was perfect.  I couldn't help but cry because it was us.

Joel picked the size of the stone and told him to upgrade the size of the diamonds.  Plus he had him add four diamonds to the band for the four kids.  And of course, the Sapphire also represents our September wedding.  I'm totally in love.  I still love to just look at it.  I have gotten tons of compliments.  Even ones I don't understand!  LOL  Had a lady on Wednesday grab my hand and yell at me in Turkish.

While we were there, Jill got her earrings fixed and her rings cleaned.  Once we were all done, we went upstairs and had a fabulous bottle of wine and the guys had beer.  It was this cute little room and we chatted, listened to Turkish music on a old Gramophone that played Charcoal records!  It was such a lovely experience.  When they brought the tray with the drinks, there was a little white box.  I thought they were just giving me my box for my ring.  No, my amazing husband had picked out my Valentine's Day present when we had been there last.  He had the jeweler make me earrings to match my ring!  I never expected a Valentine's gift this year.  The ring was enough.

My husband has truly spoiled me the last three years.  10 years, 6 pets, 4 kids, 3 States and a new country.  I'm sure the next 10 will be just as exciting! And still holding out for the Morocco trip sans kids!

Friends

Last weekend, my suite mate from Brenau came for a visit. Her and her family are now living in Germany and we have been trying to plan a get together. I haven't seen Jill since her first wedding. It was before Joel and I were married. In fact, I caught the bouquet!

Jill and I not only lived together, but we were also dance majors together. We were such great friends. We have so many amazing memories together. Partying at UGA, South Beach, roadtrip to Louisville, she was my sister. But we both went different directions (literally). And since this was before unlimited texting and Facebook, we did a pretty lousy job keeping in touch. But once we both joined FB, we reconnected again.

So that's Jill and I on the left. Liz, in red, was our other partner in crime. We went to high school together too. Anyways, I was so excited when she sent me her Itinery. She was really coming to visit! She has a new husband and two adorable little ones I was looking forward to meeting them. But you have to think, how are things going to be after so many years?

I guess sometimes you just makes friends that will be life long friends and no matter how many years pass, that friendship never changes. And that is how it is with Jill. It was like we never skipped a beat. She is the same girl from Brenau, but with less of a Southern accent and much more experience under her belt. I can truly say it has been a long time since I had that much fun. And it is so funny to see how our adult lives are so similar. LOVE her husband, Jim. And her kids were so cute! And my kids had so much fun with them.

 

It was a whirlwind weekend, as we tried to get in so many sites in. And we were able to give them a break from their kids. Being expats, you don't have the help from family to depend on. We have been so lucky here to have friends to watch the kids. And have the resources to hire help. Four days of feeling 18 again was just what I needed. I will make sure it's not another 12 years before we do it again. I have always wanted to see Germany in the fall...

Jill and I (with Milly) at the Blue Mosque

 

 

With our husbands enjoying some wine and Turkish music with our Jeweler.

 

 

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Joel's Surprise 40th!

There is just one thing to say about it, I ROCK!  I had always planned to take Joel to Vegas for this 40th.  He has never been and it just seem appropriate.  I have actually been saving for it for a few years.  Well now that we are in Istanbul, THAT wasn't going to happen.  So what to do, what to do?

Joel hates birthdays.  He's really not fond of any holiday.  Not sure what is wrong with him?!  So what better way to annoy the crap out of him?  Throw a party.  Even better a surprise party.  Joel tried to throw me one for my 25th birthday.  But there was that little thing called a BLACKOUT of the whole North East US.  He has planned this great party at my favor Bowling Alley/Pizza place.  We did reschedule and it was a great night.

So I enlisted Murat (his driver) and my friend Ilknur (his wife) to help out.  I thought we could have it as a restaurant with some food and drinks.  I gave them this assignment while we were in Portugal.  I get back and Ilknur informs me that it is Ramazan!  No alcohol or music allowed.  Or it was going to cost a shit load of $$$.  So I decided we'll have it at the house.  We looked into caterers and her daughter pulled some strings at her hotel, but everyone was coming back with this super high prices and in Euros!  We spent an afternoon calling every catering company we could find.  I found one that I LOVED!  The menu was fabulous, but the quote the lady gave me was just crazy.  We finally found one that was in my price range.  We had a meeting and everything seem to be going well.

I got Joel's coworker and secretary to help with the guest list and get invitations to everyone at work.  I was so worried someone was going to give it away  Birthdays are celebrated in Istanbul like they are in the States.  Then one week out, the caterer was screwing us around.  Ilknur got pissed and said let me make some calls.  We had decided because of Ramazan that I should buy the alcohol myself.  It shouldn't be much because many of the attendees would not be drinking.  I told Ilknur to give Istanbul Gourmet a try again.  I just couldn't get past their menu.  I am glad we did call back, because they quoted me a fraction of what they did before.  In fact, they were the cheapest by far!  And it wasn't just traditional Turkish food.  There was shrimp and duck, it was just so yummy sounding.  After that, everything fell into place.  They provided a bartender, the bar and glasses, plus all the tables and serving stuff.  And we had 2 chefs, an onsite manager, and two servers!

Next we took care of gifts, the balloons and then last minute, I said I wished I'd gotten a photographer.  Ilknur jumps on the phone and we got a photographer!  He was a student so the price was half!  We got to keep all the pictures too!

So the day of the party arrived.  It was the day before his actual birthday.  Joel's boss had him come over and spend the afternoon so we could set up.  It was so funny that the catering company was waiting around the corner until he left!  Then they took over!  I love that everyone delivers here!  The balloons were delivered and even the beer!

So here is what our patio got transformed into!

Jackie was great and sent me a bunch of Joel pics

The canapés

Murat bringing in the Balloons

My kitchen became a restaurant!

Mojitos were the drink of the night.  So Yummy!

The Bar

Can you tell Nate's excitement?  Or was it the Watermelon frozen drink?

About this third

Then the girls got in on it.

Joel arriving home.  Wrong way tho.

Now the right way

Checking out his Birthday present, a 2m water pipe

Love this one of Joel and Milly

Some of the amazing food!

The best falafel ever!

The surprise was kept!  I was so happy about that.  He spent the party in disbelief.  We had a ton of people and a wonderful time.  We ate and ate and ate.  There was so much food!  I made Joel a carrot cake since my cake lady was on vacation.  It may have not looked pretty but it tasted great.  Better have since I bought Philadelphia Cream Cheese at 14TL a pop.

I have to say that I felt like a real grownup that night.  Joel is going to be hard pressed to get me to throw big parties and do all the cooking back in the States.  I didn't have to do a thing except pay them!  My kitchen was as clean as when they arrived.  The photographer was so nice.  He gave us over 500 pictures.  And it didn't cost much.  I'm going to have him work Milly's 1st bday too.  I am just so excited it turned out well.  Joel loves his gifts (he also got a really nice set of prayer beads also known as stress beads) and he got about 20 bottles of alcohol and a few other really nice gifts.  Didn't really expect anyone to bring anything.  So I hope that Joel had a memorable 40th.  He better start the planning for mine!  I'm thinking Bora Bora?

Jocy's Competition in Edirne

Jocy's group recently got licensed to compete in the Turkish Federation Olympic Club.  This is the first year her coach has done this.  It's pretty exciting and I think a great experience for Jocy.  She has been working so hard!!  She even gave up her Spring Break to train 4 days a week for 3 hours a day.  It paid off big!  She has been struggling with her splits for a while.  She has the longest legs (thanks to me) and has some flexibility issues (thanks again to me).  Yana wanted to push Jocy but try not to go all Russian on her. :)  The other 4 girls have been training for at least 4 years and one is her daughter.  Jocy only been doing this a year this past January.

I was proud of the girls!  They placed 5th out of 7 but they barely missed 4th.  Three of the groups were just amazing.  So more advanced than our girls.  But from what I understand, their training schedule is insane!  This is just an extracurricular activity for Jocy, until she decides otherwise.  Who knows if she will continue when we head back to the States.

So here's a video from Saturday.  Sorry its not great.  LOVE their costumes.  One of the mom's makes them.  And she is self taught!!

The Expat Wife

Another Expat Wife emailed this to me today and I thought I'd share.  It's so true.  Where was this before I became one!!

The Expat Wife

Expat wives have a terrible reputation. Gin swilling, lazy, diamond dripping, drunk by lunch time, double kissing, designer handbag owning, do I need to go on?

Of course now that it's 2010 they're no longer called expat wives, they're "trailing spouses," yep, thanks for that, I feel so much better now. I love the visual of me trailing behind G, hunched over and waiting for direction. Maybe we'll forget about the title.

So, who and what is she?

In my experience she's like any group of women, she's a nurse, a doctor, a dentist, a hairdresser, a chef, a banker. The one thing she usually has in common with her expat friends, is that at some stage she sat down with her partner and had to make a practical choice on whether they were going to take "the job" overseas. In our case, I was 8 weeks pregnant when that conversation came. We did the math and it seemed impractical to turn the job down, the salary G was offered was the nearly the same as our two salaries in Australia, our worries of affordable child care and negotiating maternity leave arrangements would be non existent, it just seemed to make sense to go.

G was an expat child, he was incredibly excited about hitting the road again, there was a piece of family nostalgia there for him and he was happy with the idea of showing a child the expat life, me, not so much. The plan was 2 years in Indonesia, save some money, enjoy the experience and come home. I didn't resign from work, I took a leave of absence, 11 years later and I still haven't been able to formally resign from that role. What do you think Freud would say about that?

When we arrived in Jakarta and G went off to his first day at the office, I sat in our hotel room looking out over the grey city skyline, all logic and practicality disappeared from my mind.  I quickly forgot our agreement. I wondered what on earth had possessed me to give up my career, friends and family to take on the role where my whole existence appeared to be being Mrs G. In fact, that's what the staff at the hotel called me, Mrs G! As I wandered around the city I felt incredibly lonely. If I wasn't working then who was I?  I kept looking in the mirror at my 5 month pregnant body not really knowing who she was either.

After a couple of very quiet days the phone began to ring, British, American and Australian accents at the end of the line. "My husband mentioned there was a new Australian at the office and his wife was pregnant, do you have a doctor? I had a baby last year" a woman with a thick Scottish accent said. Someone invited me on a museum tour, someone else for a coffee "have you heard about ANZA?". None of these women were the same, they were all from different parts of the world, all different ages but they had all been the woman in the hotel room, they had a pretty good idea on what was going through my mind.

When I started to spend time with them I realized that it doesn't matter if you're a hippy, or a conservative, at any age, the story from the very well dressed dignified woman in the corner about how she had to poo in her handbag while stuck in traffic in Mumbai with a serious case of Delhi belly is hysterical to everyone. They laughed about their language disasters, rats in their dryer pipes, no electricity or phone for days, cold showers, doctors who diagnosed them with terrible non existent diseases and the tragic haircut where "just cut a little bit off" translated to "just leave a little bit there" (it took me two years to grow that haircut out).

An expat wife acquires the skill of looking across the room and thinking (as my friend Jen later told me) "I'll have her, she's mine" as they see something in someone that looks familiar. A lifelong friendship can be made in a moment, over the death of a family member or a terrifying health scare for a child. You'll find yourself sharing intimate stories with a friend you've only known for a few weeks, the terrible ex boyfriend, the miscarriage and the fight you had with your sister when you were 8, because you need to share, if you're going to be good friends she needs to know the details. That's why when you phone her the next day to say the car won't start and your husbands in China, she'll be there.

An expat wife will nervously walk in to a room full of strangers biting the side of her cheek, armed with a list of questions

• Is the milk okay to drink?
• Do you have a good doctor, mechanic, dentist or physio?
• Can you draw me a map to the school?
• Where do I buy a decent bra?
• What sort of cab should I get in to?
• Do they have Napisan here?
• Why is there a sign "this meat does not contain traces of mad cow disease" in the supermarket?
• Why can't I find tampons?
• Where can I find a math tutor?

It will be more than likely that she will leave the room with the answers, a list of phone numbers and an invitation for tomorrow. She may not have met one person she can see herself being friends with but that fear of never meeting anyone will be gone. She'll feel indestructible, it will be better than the best performance review she's ever had.

What I learned in Kindergarten

Some years ago, an email or something was floating around about what we learned in Kindergarten and how it related to us as adults. It was interesting but was that really when we gained this things?  I now believe YES!

 Until recently, Turkish kids didn't start school until they were 7. I didn't know this when we first moved to Istanbul. A full Preschool and Reception at the kids school made me think otherwise. Last year, Turkish kids were allowed in International schools. Now I know it was because they didn't have preschool to Year 1! Anyways, I was completely shocked. No wonder those kids across the way were running the streets ALL the time. I thought they just had bad parents. The knowledge my kids soaked up from 3-7 was huge! I read that once they hit 7, the amount the brain can take in slows down. How is Turkey missing out on this stage? And as I have been observing, what you learn in Kindergarten really does make an impact on you as an adult.

 Take for example - you are taught to NOT wear dark clothes if you are out walking at night. To me this is just common sense! But not in Istanbul. The number of people I have almost hit is a bit scary. Every night that I drive home from gymnastics, everyone, yes EVERYONE, is walking down these barely two lane roads with NO street lights in completely black outfits. Maybe the Turks are just used to it, but it scares the crap out of me driving in the dark. And it doesn't help that they are fearless of cars. They won't even think twice before stepping out in front of your car. And I don't understand why there are so many street light that are not in use. It's pitch black, on a crazy hill and consent headlights in your eyes. Please people! Put on a white shirt!!! I love the construction guys because they leave their safety vests on as they walk down the middle of the road.

 Standing in line - this rarely happens. Yes at the grocery store and sort of at the Mall. But if you leave just the smallest of spaces, someone will try to jump line. And if you are at a busy place, say like the Bazaar, trying to wait in line, just forget it or you better start swinging elbows. I always let someone else do it because people don't pay any attention to the stroller. On Sunday, I had an old woman about fall on the stroller and another lady just walking right into the side of the stroller. Her purse almost whacked Milly. Hello, it's a BIG orange thing. I know you saw me there! I have started swearing more recently. 

Taking turns and following the rules - God helps us if anyone could do these two things on the roads of Istanbul. If there is one thing I am coming to hate about Istanbul, it is driving. They will cut you off, push you out of your lane, pull out in front of you (when your car is already passing that car) then road rage you to the next town. Block the road to keep you from turning, tailgate like you wouldn't believe because OMG, someone might get in front of them. I have been told there is the mentality of I have to be first, no matter what.

 Staying in the line - I don't get this one but I can tell an expat is driving… they stay in their lane! I haven't seen a Turk that has the ability to drive in one lane. And it doesn't really matter if you are in the lane right next to them.

 Ok enough on driving. LOL. I have had some rough ones this year so far. And I just drive into the country! So it is my personal opinion, Istanbul you NEED Kindergarten!!

Oh how I miss Fall

Fall has always been my favorite time of year.  I love sweaters and jeans.  Football and fires.  Bringing out the crockpot and making that first Pot Roast of the season.  So many things that we can't do in Istanbul.

I am missing our trips to the apple orchard.  When I was a kid, that was the start of fall in Michigan.  I'd go with my parents, my Brownie troop, and school field trips.  It was so much fun to run around the orchards and climb the trees, trying to find the best apples.  And then eating them until you were sick to your stomach.  And once everyone was tired (and sometimes cold), it was time for donuts and hot apple cider.  Those last two were really the only reason to go!  I have no idea what mom did with all those apples.

 I tried to recreate those same trips with my kiddos in Kansas City.  The orchards were smaller and no donuts, but the apple cider usually made up for it.  Plus I loved watching Jocy and Elly running like crazy thru the orchard as I once loved.  Oh how I would love a trip to the apple orchard right now!  But from what I can find, there is only one place in the center of Turkey.  So last weekend, Joel got a bunch of apples from the pazar and I was going to try to make my own cider.  Thankfully, it was a success!  I got a small amount of my happy Fall.


I think the thing I love most about fall is the beautiful colors the trees create.  Now, living on the edge of the Belgrade Forest, you'd think I'd be in heaven.  But I'm sad to report that fall in the Belgrade Forest is quite a disappointment.  You will see an odd yellow and red here and there, but they are pretty dull.  It's like trees go from green to dead overnight.

I miss Halloween.  We still do our Halloween crafts and all the windows in the living room are covered in homemade pumpkins, ghosts, bats and black cats.  BISI does trick or treating and a big haunted house for the kids.  They love wearing their costumes to school.  And I've heard that some of the large compound do trick or treat, but not ours.  Plus the candy is not that good here.  You'd think all Snickers would be created equal.  Nope.  I swear they taste stale here.

 I miss our trip to the pumpkin patch and every ones search for their perfect pumpkins. Then the crazy mess they make decorating them.  Mmm.. and roasted pumpkin seeds are my favorite!  I loved our trips to the Big Red Barn and Deanna Rose.  Both were always on the field trip list in the fall!

 And I really miss trick or treating with our family and friends.  Almost every Halloween that we were in Kansas City, we spent with Joel's cousin's family. Their two boys are Jocy and Elly's age and its been a great tradition.  The one year we didn't go with them, we went with my good friend and her two girls.  They are the same age of Jocy and Elly and we had such a wonderful time.  I kind of wonder if they will grow out of it before we get back to the States!  That would be so very sad. :(

I miss my fireplace.  I miss both of them.  I loved that the one in the family room and the one on our back porch were just a light switch flip away.  I miss the nights hanging in our neighbors driveway with a fire and adult beverages.  I really didn't like giving up a fireplace during our apartment hunt but having a garden for the kids and dogs to play in makes it worth it.  One of these days I will get Joel to get me an Turkish outdoor fireplace.  That might make up a little bit more.

I am enjoy the beautiful warm days here in Istanbul.  And making our plans for our Christmas trip.  So even though I really miss all those things, I will have them back again sooner than I probably will like. 

1 month

Yesterday was Milly's 1 month birthday.  I can't believe how quickly this first month has flown by.  She is just the sweetest baby.  We have only had a day or two that has been a bit trying.  Today being one of those days.  But, I'd take 100 of these days then 1 of Jocy when she had reflux and colick.  Is it just because I am now a seasoned parent, or do my babies just keep getting better and better? 

All I can say is that I hope time slows down just a little.  I know that I am going to wake up tomorrow and we will be living in Detroit and Milly will be starting Kindergarten.  But for now, I will be spending every spare minute snuggle my adorable little girl and squishing her cheeks.  Who needs a clean house or clothes when they have this face to kiss!

Becoming an American

Yesterday, Milly officially became an American.  We had been joking that the last three weeks she was a Baby Spy.  The girl had no country!  In Turkey, you have to go register the baby yourself unlike in the US, the hospital takes care of all that for you.

Since the girls had parent teacher conferences, I thought it would have been a good day for
Joel to take the day off and hit up the American Consulate too.  I got online and made an appointment at the only time that was listed.  It worked out well being at 10:15am.  I made sure I had all the correct paperwork, copies, and then some.  I had 4 copies of everything!  I even had papers to prove we were US citizens even though we both were born there and had our birth certificates.  I even had tax returns! I wasn't taking any chances of screwing this up.

So about 10am, we strolled down to the Consulate.  For the past month or so, heavily armed Turkish police officers and there riot vehicles have been guarding the Consulate.  It always made me uncomfortable driving past.  The only time I have seen guns like that was flying into Boston right after Sept. 11th.  But since there have been no issues here, they have finally removed the extra security.  We checked in with the security guard (you can't get in without an appointment) and then went to wait in line.  The line wasn't bad but it was a little warm and little shade.  Everyone in line were Turkish trying to get Visa's for their trip to the US.  I was starting to wonder if we were going to be stuck waiting and this was our Consulate!  Finally, we got in the door and it was just security!  We checked our phones and sent our stuff thru the machine.  Because I was wearing Milly in the Moby Wrap, they turned off the metal detector and I got the wand.  As much as you go thru metal detectors here, they make an effort to not make pregnant women or small children go thru them.  We cleared security and headed down the hall.  Yet another line. UGH.  Then the nice guy told us.... you can skip the line and go to the elevators.  So we beat the crowd and hopped on the elevator.  Yea!  Some perks for being Americans!  When we got upstairs, the guy at the desk skipped the lady in front of us and handed us a number.  I looked around the room and it was PACKED!  At least an hour wait.  At least we had two hours before we had to get Nate from school.  Then he told us to go thru that door.  It says American Citizens Services.  Ooo... we get our own room.  When I walk in there is absolutely NO ONE there.  We waited a whooping 30 secs before our number was called.  It was quick and painless.  Two very nice American ladies took care of us.  It was nice not having to worry about misunderstands.  Milly will be getting her birth certificate and her passport in the next two weeks.  Once we receive those, we can apply for her social security number.

While we were there, I got a write in absent ballot since mine never showed.  And I just have to drop it off before Nov. 6 and they will get it back to the US for me.  And no appointment necessary.  But I'm planning on dropping it off on Monday and get it done!

I really expected the process to be much worse.  But it was actually a very easy task.  Having a baby in Istanbul isn't really something to worry about!

Milly's Birthday

I knew that I wouldn't make it to 40 weeks with this pregnancy. Elly was a week early and Nate was 2. I didn't mind too much as the last weeks of pregnancy was pretty rough on my body. I couldn't stand very long and I seemed to be pulling a stomach muscle or groin muscle daily. I couldn't walk up the stairs without having to sit down and getting out of bed for the multiple night trips to the bathroom was almost impossible! And once she drop, holy cow! When I drove, my belly was on my thighs!

37 week and 5 days - heading to the hospital 

 My first goal was to make it until my parents arrived on the 22nd. But I was really hoping for October. Then when I hired my doula, she said she would be out of town for training the 20-23. So then I made my goal at least the 24th! I had an appointment Wednesday the 19th and had progressed since my last appointment. My OB wanted me back on Friday to check since I was having decent contractions during my NST. But Friday showed little change even though I was having contractions. I told her I planned to plant my butt on the couch and make her stay since my parents wouldn't arrive til the next morning. That evening the contractions got a bit worse but nothing bad. Dr. Genim called to see how I was doing since she was heading to the Asias side for the evening. With rush hour, getting back from the Asian side could take 3 or 4 hours. I was feeling fine. A little crampy but I figured that was just from the internal exam. Of course, two hours later, I felt HORRIBLE! I stayed on the couch the whole night and ordered delivery. I did managed to get a little sleep that night and by the next morning I was feeling much better. I think if my parents had already been in Istanbul that I would have gone into the hospital that night.

 My parents arrived at our apartment about 11:30am on the 22nd. I had called my OB and told her it was a good idea that I come in and get checked. And also called my Doula Saylan, who was still out of town. She decided to hop a bus and try to make it back in time. I was supposed to call her once I saw the doctor. If need be, then the back up plan would go into effect. So after getting everyone lunch, we headed up to the hospital. After a quick check, she mumbled something in Turkish to the nurse. She said I was 3 cm dilated and to get me checked into the hospital. I was having good enough contractions that I had to stop walking. There was another pregnant woman in admissions and ever contraction I had, she was totally freaked out. I was guessing she was in for a c-section. My OB helped get us thru admissions and then we headed upstairs to L &  D.

 My room wasn't available yet, so we were put in a Recovery room. I got changed, call my Doula and they started monitoring my contractions. Since my Doula was NOT going to make it, we started on the backup plan. Sima arrived in less than 30 minutes. After I was settled in, my contractions stalled. UGH… really? I was not going to be a 4th time mom and have false labor. No, after Elly, I KNEW was labor felt like. I was definitely in the second stage of labor. We joked that I'm just too relaxed in this nice quiet hospital! LOL. So Joel and I started walking the hall. I did this with Nate and it really kick started the contractions. Unfortunately, Achibadem is MUCH smaller than Liberty. I think I have to do 10 laps to equal a hall length at Liberty. And it worked again. After 30 minutes of walking I was 4cm. Dr. Genim decided to go ahead and have the anesthesiologist put the port in for epidural. I've had two really great experiences with getting an epidural. I never felt either one being placed. Well let me tell you, this guy SUCKED! He said he numbed me… but the second he started OW! Plus he didn't tell me he was starting. So I got yelled at not to move. Well, you have to tell me you are starting! The second time, it hurt worse!! I knew then, that he had screwed it up. But I was trying to be optimistic that I was just being a wuss.

 After another 30 minutes Dr. Genim wanted to check again. But because I was in a recovery room, she wanted me in the delivery room to check. Surprisingly, no change. That is NOT like me. So I ask if she could just break my water then things will get moving. She was oddly surprised. I thought we had discussed that my water never breaks on its own. She was still very supportive of me and my choices, but I think she thought I wanted no interventions. So she broke my water and full on labor started. I was to 5cm in less than 30 seconds. My room was finally ready so Joel and Sima moved all our stuff and then moved me. Of course I was in the last room at the other end of the hall. By the time we got there I was 6cm and said I need the epidural now! LOL

 I really have no idea what the time frame for all of this was. I know I got to my OB's office at 13:30ish? And had a wait a bit. Then check in and all that. I think we got into the first room about 14:20 and the 2nd room sometime after 16:00. It's all still a bit of a blur. Probably because my epidural did NOT work. The only thing that was numb was my left thigh. I might as well gone drug free again. Not sure what time the doctor told me it was time to push but a flurry of people bombarded the room to convert it to a delivery room. My doula Sima was amazing thru the whole thing. The aromatherapy really helped me relax. Labor was so fast again that she really didn't get to do much of her job. But really just being there to help translate and be extra support was well worth every penny.

 Dr. Genim comes back in still in her stilettos and cute jeans and tank top ready to deliver! LOL. I had to giggle. Joel later told me that Milly was born after 4 pushes. I thought it felt like I was pushing FOREVER! But I also wasn't prepared for the pain. At least with Elly, I knew no epidural, so I had a little time to figure myself out. But this time, I was expecting another lovely labor and delivery like Nate. Boy was I wrong. My OB and I did butt heads a bit near the end but she did listen to what I wanted. My other three births, I was totally out of it afterwards. But this time, I was alert and aware of everything going on. Which is exactly what I was hoping for. Even though it was a horribly painful delivery, I'm pretty darn happy with how it went. Especially when having a baby in another country. 


Milly was born at 17:44pm. She was 8lbs 3oz (my biggest baby!) at 37 weeks and 5 days. I wonder if she would have been a 9lbs baby if she waited until 40 weeks! And the odd thing is, I gained less this pregnancy than any other. And I started at a lower weight then 2 of the 3. I gained a whopping 23lbs. Milly came out with a full thick head of dark hair. She is absolutely adorable. She actually had a round head! LOL. I got to hold her immediately. We had planned on waiting a bit for Joel to cut the cord but she was having a little troubles breathing because of all the fluid in her nose. They cleaned her up a little and then gave her right back to me. Such a snuggle bug. We got to spend a while with her before they took her back to be checked over. Joel took that time to run home and get the kiddos. The kids were so excited to meet Milly. I was a little concerned with how Nate would act since he's been the baby of the family for three years, but he has been the best big brother. After about an hour, they headed back home and my Doula made sure I was good for the night and headed home herself.

 I got a good two hours of rest. I never sleep well in the hospital. But I enjoy the time that Joel and I can spend bonding with our little one without the other kiddos. I thought I would want that again. But I decided the next afternoon, that I just wanted to go home. In Istanbul, the average stay is only 24 hours for a normal delivery. My OB said I could stay until Monday morning if I wanted but at last minute I decided lets go. My body probably could have used that extra 12 hours. It did force my body to get moving but it was a long slow walk to the car. We finally managed to get out around 9pm. Because it was Sunday, none of the insurance stuff could be done and most of the admin staff was gone. Milly also had to have her blood work done before we could leave the hospital. The Turkish Government requires babies to submit two blood samples within 48 hours of birth. Plus the hospital requires their one blood test. And of course we had to wait until the hospital completely all the blood tests. Which was two hours. If they would have told me that… I probably would have stayed! We were ready to go and kept waiting and waiting. I really wanted to go home and eat the Chili that Dad had made for dinner. The food at the hospital was good but I NEEDED some comfort food!

Waiting to go home

 Finally we got the OK that we could go and finish everything on Tuesday. Overall, I had a great experience giving birth here. I would do it again…. NOT that I am. LOL. My doctor was great and so was the staff. I am so grateful that I found not one but two great Doulas. And we are absolutely in love with little Milly. Our little Turk! LOL. Everyone keeps telling us she looks Turkish.

 Next step… becoming an American!

 

Introducing……

Amelya “Milly” Payne Beckerman

8lbs 3 oz. and 19.6 inches long

Born: Saturday September 22, 2012 at 17:44 EEST  (10:44 AM EST for you US peeps)

At Acibadem in Maslak, Istanbul, Turkey

I know I have taken forever to let everyone know what we named her!  But it took us until the very last hour that we were at the hospital to decide!  We have had two names picked out for months but could never both agree on one.  But somehow we came up Amelya and both agreed!  We get our funny spelling and a nickname!

I will post her birth story in the next few days.  I’m pretty worn out.  But thankfully my parents are here, Joel is off for the week, and she’s been a pretty great baby so far.  I’m still feeling very achy and sore.  We only stayed in the hospital about 26 hours after she was born.  24 hours is the standard stay for vaginal births.  We got permission to stay another night but by Sunday afternoon, I was ready to sleep in my own bed and eat my kind of comfort food!

We are so excited to have Milly as part of our family.