A life without ...

Diapers that is.  I don't do without much. :)  My husband takes very good care of me.  Maybe a haircut here and there.  Moving on.  I am potty training for the last time.  At the same time it is exciting yet sad.  Milly is no longer a baby. Sigh.  My last baby is almost a preschooler.  Where did the time go?

Milly has been ready for potty training for quite a while.  We were working on it before we left Spain.  We bought her a potty seat and step.   She does OK if I kept up with it.  Then we went back to the States and it got put off again.  But then she decided she wanted to use the potty.  So after the battle of her wanting to fall in the toilet, my mom picked up a potty chair.  That was a fun battle as she thought it was a plaything.  And that the powder room was now HERS.  She loved walking in on Grandpa using the bathroom.  Finally, the door started to get locked.  We let her keep trying but we knew going back would mess her up.  She was at about 60%.  She even made me take her while we were out and on the plane!  But sometime during out travels, she decided she HATED public toilets.  Like throw down screaming tantrum.  But she kept asking.  It was very frustrating.

Now we have been back for a bit, I decided full on assault.  I want her to start school in the fall (thought about even sooner) and she needs to be potty trained.  We had bought her new underwear in the States.  Even Frozen!  She did well.  Only a handful of accidents.  Except for #2.  Dear Lord, it was awful.  And I got the joys of cleaning it up every time.  I finally gave in and just started throwing her directly in the shower.  This did not bode well with Milly.  So then she moved on to she would only poo in her Pull Up in the middle of the night.  Which then started middle of the night wake up and she then thought it was party time.  Mommy was NOT happy.

Finally, with bribing of Kinder Eggs.....  we are 2 for 2 in the potty!  It was a great day!  But the one thing I forgot about the beginning of potty use.....   the thousand times a day when she needs to go!  No matter where or what you are doing.  I got the joys of her screaming at me while completely soaped up in the shower.  Fastest shower ever.  But I am happy to say our diaper buying days are pretty much over.  Hmmm.... what to do with that extra 40E a month????

1 month

Yesterday was Milly's 1 month birthday.  I can't believe how quickly this first month has flown by.  She is just the sweetest baby.  We have only had a day or two that has been a bit trying.  Today being one of those days.  But, I'd take 100 of these days then 1 of Jocy when she had reflux and colick.  Is it just because I am now a seasoned parent, or do my babies just keep getting better and better? 

All I can say is that I hope time slows down just a little.  I know that I am going to wake up tomorrow and we will be living in Detroit and Milly will be starting Kindergarten.  But for now, I will be spending every spare minute snuggle my adorable little girl and squishing her cheeks.  Who needs a clean house or clothes when they have this face to kiss!

Becoming an American

Yesterday, Milly officially became an American.  We had been joking that the last three weeks she was a Baby Spy.  The girl had no country!  In Turkey, you have to go register the baby yourself unlike in the US, the hospital takes care of all that for you.

Since the girls had parent teacher conferences, I thought it would have been a good day for
Joel to take the day off and hit up the American Consulate too.  I got online and made an appointment at the only time that was listed.  It worked out well being at 10:15am.  I made sure I had all the correct paperwork, copies, and then some.  I had 4 copies of everything!  I even had papers to prove we were US citizens even though we both were born there and had our birth certificates.  I even had tax returns! I wasn't taking any chances of screwing this up.

So about 10am, we strolled down to the Consulate.  For the past month or so, heavily armed Turkish police officers and there riot vehicles have been guarding the Consulate.  It always made me uncomfortable driving past.  The only time I have seen guns like that was flying into Boston right after Sept. 11th.  But since there have been no issues here, they have finally removed the extra security.  We checked in with the security guard (you can't get in without an appointment) and then went to wait in line.  The line wasn't bad but it was a little warm and little shade.  Everyone in line were Turkish trying to get Visa's for their trip to the US.  I was starting to wonder if we were going to be stuck waiting and this was our Consulate!  Finally, we got in the door and it was just security!  We checked our phones and sent our stuff thru the machine.  Because I was wearing Milly in the Moby Wrap, they turned off the metal detector and I got the wand.  As much as you go thru metal detectors here, they make an effort to not make pregnant women or small children go thru them.  We cleared security and headed down the hall.  Yet another line. UGH.  Then the nice guy told us.... you can skip the line and go to the elevators.  So we beat the crowd and hopped on the elevator.  Yea!  Some perks for being Americans!  When we got upstairs, the guy at the desk skipped the lady in front of us and handed us a number.  I looked around the room and it was PACKED!  At least an hour wait.  At least we had two hours before we had to get Nate from school.  Then he told us to go thru that door.  It says American Citizens Services.  Ooo... we get our own room.  When I walk in there is absolutely NO ONE there.  We waited a whooping 30 secs before our number was called.  It was quick and painless.  Two very nice American ladies took care of us.  It was nice not having to worry about misunderstands.  Milly will be getting her birth certificate and her passport in the next two weeks.  Once we receive those, we can apply for her social security number.

While we were there, I got a write in absent ballot since mine never showed.  And I just have to drop it off before Nov. 6 and they will get it back to the US for me.  And no appointment necessary.  But I'm planning on dropping it off on Monday and get it done!

I really expected the process to be much worse.  But it was actually a very easy task.  Having a baby in Istanbul isn't really something to worry about!

Milly's Birthday

I knew that I wouldn't make it to 40 weeks with this pregnancy. Elly was a week early and Nate was 2. I didn't mind too much as the last weeks of pregnancy was pretty rough on my body. I couldn't stand very long and I seemed to be pulling a stomach muscle or groin muscle daily. I couldn't walk up the stairs without having to sit down and getting out of bed for the multiple night trips to the bathroom was almost impossible! And once she drop, holy cow! When I drove, my belly was on my thighs!

37 week and 5 days - heading to the hospital 

 My first goal was to make it until my parents arrived on the 22nd. But I was really hoping for October. Then when I hired my doula, she said she would be out of town for training the 20-23. So then I made my goal at least the 24th! I had an appointment Wednesday the 19th and had progressed since my last appointment. My OB wanted me back on Friday to check since I was having decent contractions during my NST. But Friday showed little change even though I was having contractions. I told her I planned to plant my butt on the couch and make her stay since my parents wouldn't arrive til the next morning. That evening the contractions got a bit worse but nothing bad. Dr. Genim called to see how I was doing since she was heading to the Asias side for the evening. With rush hour, getting back from the Asian side could take 3 or 4 hours. I was feeling fine. A little crampy but I figured that was just from the internal exam. Of course, two hours later, I felt HORRIBLE! I stayed on the couch the whole night and ordered delivery. I did managed to get a little sleep that night and by the next morning I was feeling much better. I think if my parents had already been in Istanbul that I would have gone into the hospital that night.

 My parents arrived at our apartment about 11:30am on the 22nd. I had called my OB and told her it was a good idea that I come in and get checked. And also called my Doula Saylan, who was still out of town. She decided to hop a bus and try to make it back in time. I was supposed to call her once I saw the doctor. If need be, then the back up plan would go into effect. So after getting everyone lunch, we headed up to the hospital. After a quick check, she mumbled something in Turkish to the nurse. She said I was 3 cm dilated and to get me checked into the hospital. I was having good enough contractions that I had to stop walking. There was another pregnant woman in admissions and ever contraction I had, she was totally freaked out. I was guessing she was in for a c-section. My OB helped get us thru admissions and then we headed upstairs to L &  D.

 My room wasn't available yet, so we were put in a Recovery room. I got changed, call my Doula and they started monitoring my contractions. Since my Doula was NOT going to make it, we started on the backup plan. Sima arrived in less than 30 minutes. After I was settled in, my contractions stalled. UGH… really? I was not going to be a 4th time mom and have false labor. No, after Elly, I KNEW was labor felt like. I was definitely in the second stage of labor. We joked that I'm just too relaxed in this nice quiet hospital! LOL. So Joel and I started walking the hall. I did this with Nate and it really kick started the contractions. Unfortunately, Achibadem is MUCH smaller than Liberty. I think I have to do 10 laps to equal a hall length at Liberty. And it worked again. After 30 minutes of walking I was 4cm. Dr. Genim decided to go ahead and have the anesthesiologist put the port in for epidural. I've had two really great experiences with getting an epidural. I never felt either one being placed. Well let me tell you, this guy SUCKED! He said he numbed me… but the second he started OW! Plus he didn't tell me he was starting. So I got yelled at not to move. Well, you have to tell me you are starting! The second time, it hurt worse!! I knew then, that he had screwed it up. But I was trying to be optimistic that I was just being a wuss.

 After another 30 minutes Dr. Genim wanted to check again. But because I was in a recovery room, she wanted me in the delivery room to check. Surprisingly, no change. That is NOT like me. So I ask if she could just break my water then things will get moving. She was oddly surprised. I thought we had discussed that my water never breaks on its own. She was still very supportive of me and my choices, but I think she thought I wanted no interventions. So she broke my water and full on labor started. I was to 5cm in less than 30 seconds. My room was finally ready so Joel and Sima moved all our stuff and then moved me. Of course I was in the last room at the other end of the hall. By the time we got there I was 6cm and said I need the epidural now! LOL

 I really have no idea what the time frame for all of this was. I know I got to my OB's office at 13:30ish? And had a wait a bit. Then check in and all that. I think we got into the first room about 14:20 and the 2nd room sometime after 16:00. It's all still a bit of a blur. Probably because my epidural did NOT work. The only thing that was numb was my left thigh. I might as well gone drug free again. Not sure what time the doctor told me it was time to push but a flurry of people bombarded the room to convert it to a delivery room. My doula Sima was amazing thru the whole thing. The aromatherapy really helped me relax. Labor was so fast again that she really didn't get to do much of her job. But really just being there to help translate and be extra support was well worth every penny.

 Dr. Genim comes back in still in her stilettos and cute jeans and tank top ready to deliver! LOL. I had to giggle. Joel later told me that Milly was born after 4 pushes. I thought it felt like I was pushing FOREVER! But I also wasn't prepared for the pain. At least with Elly, I knew no epidural, so I had a little time to figure myself out. But this time, I was expecting another lovely labor and delivery like Nate. Boy was I wrong. My OB and I did butt heads a bit near the end but she did listen to what I wanted. My other three births, I was totally out of it afterwards. But this time, I was alert and aware of everything going on. Which is exactly what I was hoping for. Even though it was a horribly painful delivery, I'm pretty darn happy with how it went. Especially when having a baby in another country. 


Milly was born at 17:44pm. She was 8lbs 3oz (my biggest baby!) at 37 weeks and 5 days. I wonder if she would have been a 9lbs baby if she waited until 40 weeks! And the odd thing is, I gained less this pregnancy than any other. And I started at a lower weight then 2 of the 3. I gained a whopping 23lbs. Milly came out with a full thick head of dark hair. She is absolutely adorable. She actually had a round head! LOL. I got to hold her immediately. We had planned on waiting a bit for Joel to cut the cord but she was having a little troubles breathing because of all the fluid in her nose. They cleaned her up a little and then gave her right back to me. Such a snuggle bug. We got to spend a while with her before they took her back to be checked over. Joel took that time to run home and get the kiddos. The kids were so excited to meet Milly. I was a little concerned with how Nate would act since he's been the baby of the family for three years, but he has been the best big brother. After about an hour, they headed back home and my Doula made sure I was good for the night and headed home herself.

 I got a good two hours of rest. I never sleep well in the hospital. But I enjoy the time that Joel and I can spend bonding with our little one without the other kiddos. I thought I would want that again. But I decided the next afternoon, that I just wanted to go home. In Istanbul, the average stay is only 24 hours for a normal delivery. My OB said I could stay until Monday morning if I wanted but at last minute I decided lets go. My body probably could have used that extra 12 hours. It did force my body to get moving but it was a long slow walk to the car. We finally managed to get out around 9pm. Because it was Sunday, none of the insurance stuff could be done and most of the admin staff was gone. Milly also had to have her blood work done before we could leave the hospital. The Turkish Government requires babies to submit two blood samples within 48 hours of birth. Plus the hospital requires their one blood test. And of course we had to wait until the hospital completely all the blood tests. Which was two hours. If they would have told me that… I probably would have stayed! We were ready to go and kept waiting and waiting. I really wanted to go home and eat the Chili that Dad had made for dinner. The food at the hospital was good but I NEEDED some comfort food!

Waiting to go home

 Finally we got the OK that we could go and finish everything on Tuesday. Overall, I had a great experience giving birth here. I would do it again…. NOT that I am. LOL. My doctor was great and so was the staff. I am so grateful that I found not one but two great Doulas. And we are absolutely in love with little Milly. Our little Turk! LOL. Everyone keeps telling us she looks Turkish.

 Next step… becoming an American!

 

Introducing……

Amelya “Milly” Payne Beckerman

8lbs 3 oz. and 19.6 inches long

Born: Saturday September 22, 2012 at 17:44 EEST  (10:44 AM EST for you US peeps)

At Acibadem in Maslak, Istanbul, Turkey

I know I have taken forever to let everyone know what we named her!  But it took us until the very last hour that we were at the hospital to decide!  We have had two names picked out for months but could never both agree on one.  But somehow we came up Amelya and both agreed!  We get our funny spelling and a nickname!

I will post her birth story in the next few days.  I’m pretty worn out.  But thankfully my parents are here, Joel is off for the week, and she’s been a pretty great baby so far.  I’m still feeling very achy and sore.  We only stayed in the hospital about 26 hours after she was born.  24 hours is the standard stay for vaginal births.  We got permission to stay another night but by Sunday afternoon, I was ready to sleep in my own bed and eat my kind of comfort food!

We are so excited to have Milly as part of our family. 

Baby Pics

At almost 22 weeks, I've had three ultrasounds and I have another one next week. Surprisingly this is less than normal for me. With the last two, I was getting weekly ultrasounds from 14 weeks to 22 weeks to make sure that my incompetent cervix didn't rear its ugly head. So far, no issues again! Must have just been some freak occurrence with Jocy. I know with most pregnancies at home, ultrasounds happen about twice. To confirm a pregnancy and the big 20 week one. But in Istanbul, it seems to be a regular part of your OB checkup. Heck, I'm still shocked about how long my appointments even last!!!

 Last week, I went in for my 20 week appointment. I was expecting the big ultrasound. We already knew we were having a little girl, but I was looking forward to making sure before I started shopping. To my surprise, it was just the usual ultrasound. Listened to the heartbeat, do a few measures, nothing big. Then afterwards, Dr. Genim informed me that a specialist does the BIG ultrasound. I was a little freaked out that something was wrong, but no it was just standard procedure to make sure that the baby was as perfect as she thought. They really like to try to catch anything that could possible come up. I'm still a bit surprised, all my test came back great, but I will go with the flow and appreciate the great care I'm getting. I didn't ask if he spoke English tho….

 So I'm going to share our baby girl's latest pic. We still don't have a name picked out. I think we are down to a Top 3 list, but I hope to have one picked soon. If only we could have two seconds to sit down and debate about it. So it might not be until July. :)


 

Baby B #4

 She looks just like the other three at this age.

Who knew? (Exciting News)

I've known since college that I wanted 3 kids.  Two boys and a girl.  I didn't think I could handle all the girlie-ness.  I was pretty much a tomboy growing up.  My dad used to tell me when he coached me in softball, that I spent more time in the dirt than the lines did.  I also always knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I loved that my mom was one. Even  when I was older, the job she had was always during school hours.  She dropped us at school every morning and picked us up after school.  She ran my brother and I to all our activities all over town.  Sometimes at the same time on different sides of town.  I couldn't have had a better life growing up.  We traveled, had a nice house, and cars.  I had a car in high school and a cell phone (a huge rarity then).  I'm sure my parents spend a fortune on baseball, softball, basketball, cheerleading, soccer, track, piano lessons, and dance.   I wanted my kids to have the same opportunities.


So when I met Joel, everything just fell into place.  He agreed with my traditional viewpoints.  Because he is 5 years older, I was pretty young when Jocy was born.  Back then, it was a bit of a bummer as most of our friends weren't even thinking about starting a family.  But it worked for us.  I'm grateful for it now.   I'm the young mom at school.  And I can tell you, pregnancy is a LOT easier in your 20s that 30s.


About a year after Nate was born, Joel and I were talking..... are we really done?  I was almost 31 when he was born.  3 kids in 5 years.    And Nate was such a wonderful baby, could we do it again one more time?  We gave it some thought for a while and finally said what the heck.  We tried and failed.  We had no issues getting pregnant with Jocy and Nate.  Elly took about 6 months.  Must be those even numbers.  I was so frustrated.  Our neighbor got pregnant when we were trying.  I was really happy for her since it was a struggle for her but sad at the same time. In fact our whole neighborhood was a baby boom!!  There was at least twice I was sure we were pregnant.  Now that I look back, I know it was NOT the time for us.  I was unhappy, Joel was unhappy at work, lots of stress.... I'm sure that was the problem.  I so needed out of Liberty.  Small town life seems nice.  But I'm so NOT suburban girl.  I love being in the city.  I hated driving 40 minutes down to the fun stuff.  And come the weekend (if Joel wasn't working), I was too tired to want to make the drive.  My highlights of life at the time were MNO and my bi-weekly kickboxing class.  I swear that class saved my sanity.  And our house..... was getting smaller by the day.  It was great when we moved in with one kid but with three, I was suffocating.  Plus,  I missed our life in Detroit.  I know we could never do it again with kids.  And truthfully, I'm glad we aren't still there.  But I need to be close to stuff like that.  I need more!


So once we were happily settled into Istanbul, we had the conversation again.  We decided its do or die time.  If I didn't get pregnant by spring, we were done.  That was my true New Year's resolution!


And lo and behold.....  

   We are expecting the 4th and FINAL baby Beckerman!!!

I've been very hesitant about announcing, I'm not sure why.  Are people really going to care about the 4th one?  We are very excited.  Our family now feels complete.  And yes, this is it.  I know this is what I can handle.  We can afford it, our new place is big enough, and with three kids in school next year, I can really enjoy the last baby.  I always joked I wanted the last one conceived in a foreign country.........