Loss

Yesterday I was supposed to video chat with my parents. We were going to go thru some baby clothes bin and look at what I had bought already. But as soon as I picked up, I got the dreaded, "We have news".   And I knew right away something was wrong.

 Recently, I was just talking about how lucky I am to still have 3 living grandparents. My kids have 4 great grandparents (was 5 when Jocy was born). I haven't seen my Grandpa and ma Hoffman for quite a while. When Grandpa first got really sick, we were told that no one was allowed to visit. Of course, it seems I'm the only one that listened. They still haven't met Nate. My other Grandma lives in Louisville, so I see her every time I go home.

 When we accepted the job in Turkey, I knew that a lot can happen in the three years. I have two grandparents that are 90 and one has been pretty sick on and off for a few years. Truthfully, its been pretty amazing how long he has held on. Until yesterday, around 10 am my time, Grandpa Hoffman passed away. He's in a much better place now. He has been unable to walk for quite a while because of his Diabetes. And for a man that loved playing golf, it was a very hard thing. He was the only Grandpa I have had for over 20 years. My Grandpa Fletcher passed away from lung cancer when I was in 2nd grade (I think).

 Grandpa Hoffman had a boat for as long as I can remember. We swim in Nolan Lake and then Doe Valley every summer. We spent every Christmas Eve with them. I have 8 cousins, so we made plenty of memories at their house. I spent most of yesterday being numb. I would love to just jump on a plane and head to Florida. But at 33 weeks pregnant, its not an option. I worry about how Grandma is doing. How do you cope with being married for 70 years to being alone? I have no idea how my dad is feeling. I can't think of many time I have seen my dad emotional. It's not quite something you deal with over video chat. Last night, I traded notes with some of my cousins. It seems we are all in the same boat. We really shouldn't be shocked by it.

 It's been quite a while since we have all been together for Christmas. My grandparents stopped traveling a few years ago. I have been to one family Christmas in 8 years. I was pregnant with Nate. We have all been busy with our own lives.  All the older ones have kids of their own now.  The memories I have.... we are our parents age and our kids are the age we were.  It's crazy!  Now, I really have no idea what half my relatives are up too. I have one cousin I see every time I am home and trade notes with. But it's nothing like the summers of running around my Grandparents house thinking they would be around forever.

 I am going to do a much better job keeping up with the grandmas I have left. I'm going to push my parents into video chats with them. My kids are so lucky to have them. I only had one and she passed when I was in 5th grade. And even then, I really didn't know her. Not like my kids know Grandma Fletcher.

 My cousin posted this on Facebook yesterday and I thought it was a good ending to my post for today. I really didn't want to post anything on FB. It still weirds me out to see his name under family on my FB page…..

 August 19th, 2012 at 3:40 am we lost a very special person, Frank Thomas Hoffman, Father, Grandpa and Great Grandpa at the age of 90. He left 5 children, 10 grandchildren, and 13 great grand children, with 2 more on the way. We love you Grandpa! We know you are watching over all of us from heaven. Please keep my family in your prayers at this time.