Knocked back down

It has been quite awhile since I had a fibro flare.  I have days I hurt and days I am exhausted.  But it has been quite a while since I couldn't function.  But today.... Was a flare day.

Milly has had a rough few nights lately.  I have learned to take her crazy tantrums into stride.  I just sit and try to find that trigger that brings my adorable little girl back.  She has been trying to keep up with the big kids.  She thinks she is missing out on great fun in the middle of the night.  Her daddy is working crazy hours and is stressed.  And mommy is trying to deal with life.  We are less than three months away from end of assignment. Do we have a new plan? no.  Hell, we can't even get reimbursed for all the money we have spent on this damn move.  As much as we love Spain, it has been a PIA.

Today, I woke up and felt numb.  And not in a good way.  My mind could barely focus to speak.  I was exhausted.  I took Jocy to the bus stop and before I even left my street, I knew I probably shouldn't be driving.  I didn't miss my meds, so what was going on?  As I was sitting waiting on the bus, struggling to stay awake, it hit me.  Crap... It's a flare up.  I can't say things have been great but I am been make some improvement.  I must have gotten too comfortable because BAM... I am done.  I got home and told Jackie she would have to take care of school this morning.  I went back to bed about 8:30am.  I didn't get up again til 2pm.  I had lunch and tried to function but was back in bed 45 minutes later. Then there was the monumental effort to drag myself out of bed to do pickup.

Here we are at 10:30 at night, and I am ready for bed again.  I feel better but not good.  Thank goodness my wonderful hubby allowed me to have a summer nanny.  She was a lifesaver today.

I am trying to put up a good fight.  But days like today really knock the crap out of you.  I really hate being the person blaming fibro, but here I am.  And I would give anything not to feel this way.  But I will take one day at a time and keep fighting.