Always playing catch up

Yet again, I had intentions of posting more.  But the last few weeks have just been crazy.   Jocy was sick, Elly was sick and then Nate.  During that one week, I had someone home sick everyday.  Then Mommy got sick.  Thankfully, it wasn't Elly's stomach bug.  A friend of mine got it from her son and she said it was horrible.  But the head and chest cold I got had me down for a week.  I'm still fighting a cough, but at least I am getting some sleep.  But now Milly is fighting it and teething.

The last few days I have been trying to make up for the last two weeks.  My to do list is ten miles long. So the last two days have been nonstop.  I am exhausted.  Today is kind of my day off for the week.  But I still have packing to do.  I would really love to be in bed right now.  But I'm making sure we have everything together, fixing Leapsters and trying to find camera chargers.  Because this Friday at 7am, we will be heading to the US for the first time in 22 months.  We didn't plan to ever go home during our three year assignment.  It's so hard to fly with 3 (now 4) kids, so we told everyone they had to come to us.  But we never expected to have a funeral to attend.  And as sad as I am to have lost my father in law, I am so excited to go home.  To not have to worry about language barriers, crazy drivers, and being able to find anything I want, will be amazing.  But my biggest fear is that going home this one time, will make the last 14 months difficult.

 I have my moments where I am ready to go home.  Difficult neighbors, tiring and frustrating drives to gymnastics, not finding what I want at the grocery just fuels those feelings.  But then we'd have to leave our friends and we still have so much to see and do here.  And do we really want to go home after this one assignment?  Our kids are getting to experience so much more than they ever would if we had stayed in Missouri.  I don't ever want that bubble for my kids.  It's a nice lovely life, but its so sheltered and close minded.  I think everyone should have to travel abroad, maybe in college.  It really gives you a different look at life and how lucky we are as Americans.  But also  learn how we are perceived as Americans.  I really think it would make us a better country.

So two days from now, we will be somewhere over Europe.  I'm scared shit less taking an 11 hour flight with a 7 month old. She did great flying to Barcelona at Christmas, but she is much more vocal and mobile now.  I'm hope she will be contend playing at my feet and then sleep the rest of the time.  And I don't even want to think about the jet lag.  When we flew to Istanbul, we had an 11pm flight.  So they slept the whole flight because it was bedtime.  Between the excitement and less than 12 hours of sleep, they happily went to bed at a decent hour Istanbul time.  But with only a week and our crazy flight times, I'm so afraid of total meltdown kids.  Or maybe the excitement of seeing family and the fun things we have planned will keep them happy.  Then it will just be an BIG Ol' ugly mess when we get home.

Who knows.  Trying not to stress about it.  This rainy day is just killing me!  LOL.  I'm going to be lazy for the next 30 minutes and then my housekeeper will be here and I have to get back to it.  I'm praying that everything will go smoothly and we have a wonderful trip.  Then when we get back, we have a month before Portugal!!!