The Big GASP 3 - 5 !!

It has now been a week since I have turned 35.  If you would have asked me in high school what my life would be like when I turned 35, I would blown off the question because that is FOREVER away.  Heck that would have been my answer at 22.

I knew this day was coming.  Joel had his 40th in July.  He handled it well and with grace.  But I think he gets more handsome with age.  Me... my body just keeps falling apart.  Sigh.  I'm sure if I HAD pondered 35 in my youth, my life today would have not been the answer.  Don't get me wrong, most of it is great.  But as I sat on my 35th birthday, which was crap if you were wondering, I decided this was that time for the big change.  Mommy makeover time.

I have put so much off for the kids.  Not taking good care of myself, giving up my body for 4 pregnancies, 9 years of being sleep deprived, and all the rest that goes with being a mom.  This year alone will bring big changes anyways (Hello, July 31st?), so lets just roll it out!

Starting September 1, the diet, the fitness routine, doctors appointments, it all starts.  I am getting a treadmill for my gift from Joel.  Lame gift I know since he got a fab party for his 35th, including a bouncy house and band.  But I have about 25 lbs I'd like to lose for the last time.  Yes, I said it.  I have yo-yo'd between 140lbs and 198lbs for the last 10 years.  And yes, the highest weight was the end of a pregnancy, but still not a number I EVER want to see again.  I'd love to do one of the races at the Eurasia Marathon this year.  How cool to run over two Continents!  So I figured between the treadmill and Bootcamp starting back next month, I may have some hope.

I've been dreading the diet part.  Nursing does NOT help me lose weight.  It's the opposite.  I get so hungry!  It doesn't matter how healthy I eat, I'm still so hungry!  And I have put my baby first.  I drink at least minimum water requirments, take my vitamins, do give into my mini Magnum bars, but its not living on processed food or much takeout.  But still, I gain or stay above my plateau.  It's very frustrating.  As we approach Milly's 1st birthday, I will most likely start to wean her.  I have greatly enjoyed breastfeeding her.  First time I can ever say that.  It wasn't always easy but it made me sit down and spend alone time with just her.  I wish I had that with my other three.  Once I take back my body, its back to strict Watcher Watchers and portion control.  I do have to say that this recent stomach bug has reduced my appetite quite a bit.  Hope it keeps up! LOL

Next will be trying to get out of my funk.  Milly still isn't sleeping thru the night and me going this long without my 8 hours, puts me in a horrible mood.  I'm suffering from a bit of Baby blues but not enough I want to get on meds.  Nothing against anyone that does, because it has crossed my mind.  My biggest issue has been the Anxiety.  I'd love a big bottle of Xanax right now.  But I know for me its all the pregnancy hormones hanging around my body and once I get it all out I will feel better.  Next step will be trying to get rid of the Mommy Brain!  I swear this year I will NOT be the slacker parent.  I will be organized and know when things are due!

And the last part is the doctor side.  I'm finally going to get my eyes done.  It's never been a top priority but now there is a little play money, I have been thinking about it.  I really didn't want to get it done while I was still nursing.  My eyes always change after I quit, so didn't want to take any risks with that!  Next will be getting my teeth done.  4 babies have really taken a toll on them.

Anyways, so that is my plan.  I have a check list of the exact goals and things I want to get done.  I also decided to start a bucket list.  But not for me.  More of a Bucket List of Places and things I want to do with the kids.  I keep catching myself saying, ooo I want to take the kids there and do this.  So I decided to start writing them down.  Not like we haven't done some amazing things so far, but I don't want it to end when we end up back in the States.

Happy Birthday to me!