Worth it

Yesterday was a really rough day for Milly and I. Thankfully they are few and far between. But when they do happen, it's one of the most difficult things. When you have your first and have these days (many with Jocy), you can just worry about the two of you and get thru it. I was lucky then and had my family close by. Back then it seemed just as hard. But now, with three other kids to worry about and a husband who is gone from 6am to 9pm, these days almost seem impossible.

 Yesterday, Milly wouldn't sleep. Even the night before, she was up every three hours. And wanted nothing more to eat and be held. The same continued thru out the day. She gave me a whopping 20 minutes to eat lunch and that was about it. Doesn't help the I am sick and already tired from the weekend. I felt like I had been beaten and at some points throughout the day, I could barely stay awake. I got about a 20 minute nap sitting up and my neck is definitely paying for it.

 By the time 4pm rolls around, I am DONE and I feel bad the other three are paying for it. I tried hard to get showers done early and an easy dinner started at 5pm. Jocy had to finish her homework for the week because with gymnastics we aren't home til after 8pm. I tried to keep up with our reading advent calendar and give everyone there own time. But mommy just lost her shit last night. I was so happy that I got the kids in bed by 7:40pm. But do you think Milly gave me a break. NOPE. Joel got home about 8:30pm then had to take a work phone call. I don't think he sat down for dinner til about 9:30pm.

 After a bit of struggling, Joel put Milly to bed at 11pm. And I RAN to my bed. I didn't care when Joel was coming, light out and in bed. I haven't slept that deep in awhile. Well only until 4am. Which she decided to not go back to sleep. Thankfully, after a little struggle, she was back to sleep. I enjoyed the cuddle and next thing I knew my alarm was going off. The usually whirlwind of a morning to get three kids ready and off to school wasn't too painful.

 When I finally got a chance to just sit down and breath, Milly got all smily and giggly. And that right there made all the crap from yesterday so worth it. And the two hour nap that followed so I could enjoy my cup of coffee and my new beloved egg and bacon on a croissant sandwich. Joel asked me this morning when I would be back to myself. Good question. Probably the first time I get to sleep 8 hours 2 nights in a row. But that is life as a mommy.