Stuck in Limbo

We are now at the end of March and still have no official plan.  Joel's last day in Harbin is tomorrow.  We have made our own plan but that one could easily fail.  The last three months have just been crappy.  Between the cold and tons of snow we have gotten this year and the stress.... I just holed myself up for the winter.  February was the worst.  Milly was off school for their winter holiday so I wasn't forced to get out.  Besides grocery shopping and a handful of coffee dates.... I was in my PJs.  STRESSED.THE.HECK.OUT   Is it time to go back to the States, do we tough it out in China some more,  are there other options?

We had hopes for one job.  Unfortunately, there is too much down time between this launch ending and the next one starting. And no one wants to foot the bill for us.  We were offered two 1 year contracts. (One the timing was bad).  We have been there and done that.  It was hard even in a fantastic location.  Why would we want to do it in a really crappy location?  Yeah it is just one year to get thru, but is it worth it putting the kids in a potentially awful school? Our oldest is going to be in 8th grade, so that is a big consideration.

I have had a really hard time coming to terms with this all.  And have completely avoided this blog.  I have nothing fun to say.  I'm kind of cranky in real life.  My anxiety has overwhelmed me.  Even when I am not even worrying or thinking about it all.... its has a constant grip on me.  ACK!

 Everyday life has become a complete PIA.  The constant stares are bothering me again.  The new crackdown on the VPN makes my fun things annoying.  My newly fix iMac is on the brink of crashing.  I took it back to the Apple Service Center and the guy basically said, I told you not to fix it.  We can't do anything for you.  So my poor iMac is sitting upstairs.  I am afraid to turn it on in case it finally crashes.  I'm just going to wait until I can take it to you real Apple Store and have them pull everything off it.  I have a backup but I am not comfortable when it is from.  It was set to auto backup but with our constant internet issues, you never know.  I have so many amazing trips to share but haven't been able.   We have two trips coming up next month and I am hoping to just shake all this crap off.

 I KNOW we are moving July 6th.  Joel will not live in another city come tomorrow.  That right there I think has kicked my butt.  It is a heck of a lot different then him going off to launch in the States.   We have always been a team and can get thru anything together.  But this just plain sucked.  Maybe if I was off in Shanghai living the high life.... but being here... its always a battle.  For every small little thing.

So here is to our next adventure.  I will try to patiently wait and enjoy my three weeks of holiday with my family.  Because then.... it will be back to crazy.